devon s. maloney

cracked:

Of course, Garcia’s entire job was to feed the Nazis intelligence about Britain, which he knew nothing about. So he simply spent his days watching newsreels, reading about Britain in the library, and compiling reams of secondhand bullshit and useless information. As if this wasn’t brazen enough, Garcia began recruiting imaginary sub-agents and building himself an imaginary spy network within a country he’d never been to. And he submitted their expense reports. We’re wondering what Nazi auditors thought when they came across Hugh Jass’s expense report for fifty crates of beer and one hundred tacos.

When Britain caught word that this guy was playing the most hilarious and epic prank in history in their honor, they reconsidered his request to put him on the payroll. Now backed by the British government, Garcia and his new friends continued to expand their totally imaginary enterprise to leech an ever increasing salary from the German government, almost certainly writing their letters in the grip of hysterical laughter and high-fiving. In the end, Garcia had scammed over $4 million in today’s dollars out of the Nazi government.

And they still didn’t catch on. At the end of the war, Garcia was presented with the Iron Cross for his faithful and dedicated service to the Third Reich, making him one of only a small handful of people who won medals from both sides in World War II. When he got tired of it all, he faked his own death and ran a bookstore in Venezula for forty years. No, seriously.

The 7 Most Heroic Con Artists of All Time

whoopsrobots:

actualmermaid:

demigods-greatest-warriors:

breelandwalker:

countrysidewitchery:

reddobastard:

onethingconstant:

songbirde108:

mercurialkitty:

emmagrant01:

clevermanka:

youcangofindatree:

moremetalthanyourmom:

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

Gotta try it

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

I will always reblog this post, because it works!! Even when coming up to a large group of teenage lads, who are taking up the entire pathway and had not moved for adult males let alone anyone else, got the HELL out of the way for the murder walk!!!

Always reblog for the Murder Walk.

Question, will the murder walk work for people under the height of 5′5″?

The murder walk does work if you’re under 5'5"! Having resting bitchface and wearing a lot of black helps.

I’m a small 5'3" and have been called intimidating by multiple people. I’m actually a marshmallow, but my face and the way I walk and talk say “intimidating” somehow

Even just the solid posture and flat expression- something about the, ‘too busy for your shit, would gladly sell your kidneys’ aura keeps the drunk creeps on the train from trying to chat

womenburningthings:

la la la la la

i needed this tumblr. you needed this tumblr. we all needed this tumblr.

diehard-fangirl:

Seriously, whoever made this book bed needs to be given an award. Or…something.

(AC: Unknown.)

joanna russ was a bad bitch